He battered me while I was pregnant

The 2010 16 Days of Activism against Gender based Violence officially ended on December 10.

During the campaign that annually starts from November 25, this year Zodiak Online has been bringing you stories of women that have suffered various forms of abuse because of being HIV positive and how they managed to sail through.

Now, because the end of the campaign does not necessary mean all people with ill minds have transformed, we will have to continue a little bit further in order to reach out to those that still believe that abuse of women is normal.

Today, we hear from Serenia Jokora – the youngest of all the women that have presented their stories on this special column.

Serenia is 33 years old. She hails from Undi Village in the area of Traditional Authority Chawuma is Dedza.

“It’s now three years since my husband abandoned me. He left for Kasungu. I’m told he is working in tobacco fields there”, she says, “He left me with a young child”.
Serenia was found HIV positive in 2005.

“It all started after I tested HIV positive during mandatory test at the antenatal clinic.

“He was furious when I told him the news and he said I should not involve him in the issue. At first he refused to go to hospital for testing, but later he accepted. He was also found HIV positive.

“Initially we had no problems in our family, but my husband just changed overnight. He started beating up me, more especially the time I was pregnant.

“He used to come home drunk and he would beat me up almost daily without any proper reason during my pregnancy.

“We quarreled on petty issues. For example, if any man passes by our house, he would ask me who the person was. If I say I do not know him, he wouldn’t listen and he would beat me up severely.

“On several occasions he infected me with sexually transmitted diseases but instead accused me of being a prostitute. I can assure you that since I got married I never slept with any other man apart from him,” she says.

Suffering in silence

Despite that she was battered by her husband for close to five years, Serenia never reported the matter to police or any organization that would have assisted her.
The only third party was involved was their marriage counselors.

“They tried to reason with him to stop beating me up, but he never changed until he left for Kasungu three years ago.

“It’s true that most women are suffering in silence. Most of us do not know where to seek assistance on these issues”, she observes.

“Over the past years I have been having problems to find food because I have five children. I work in other people’s gardens to raise money for my daily needs.”

Serenia comes from a Ngoni area where beer drinking among men is part of culture.
“Most of the men around this area are militant towards their wives when they get drunk. I have a number of friends who have suffered in the same way.

“My husband said he will come back. Anyway, I will accept him because of the children, Serenia says surprisingly.

A call for action

Serenia urges government and nongovernmental organizations to work together to civic educate women in rural areas on their rights.

“We need to know where we can seek assistance when we are abused by our husbands.
She is currently on antiretroviral treatment and says the medication has helped to invigorate her life.

Serenia concurs with the rest of the women that have spoken out during this year’s 16 Days Campaign that provision of soft loans to enable women living HIV start small-scale business is an area where government and nongovernmental organizations must invest adequate resources.

As a member of a community-based health and advocacy group she is one of the few people that have come out in the open in Undi Village to declare their HIV status who are campaigning overtly for increased rights of people living with the virus that causes AIDS.

“If my husband comes back today, I will not just go head to accept him. Now, we have several support groups here, like Chembe Community Based Organization which I joined last year.

“I will tell him to make a promise in the presence of members of the group that he will no longer beat me up. In fact, I will demand that he joins the organization before we can reunite”.
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My Survival Story on Zodiak Online is sponsored by the Open Society Initiative for South Southern Africa (OSISA)